September

It’s been a helluva month. When August ended, we literally had no idea what was coming next. Seriously. Waking up on the morning of August 31, we really didn’t know what the future was going to hold for us. All we knew for sure was that Rasa had her PhD defense coming up on the 21^st of September, and that was causing enough stress on its own.

Thing is, at that point, we had nothing anchoring us anywhere. Yes, I had a job, but it had already been discussed that if needs be, I could keep doing it remotely from online.

So, with Rasa’s educational journey coming to an end, we were talking about what was on the horizon. There were no positions open for her at the university where she did her doctoral work so that was out. So she was on the hunt for another position elsewhere. This is where one of our major discussions had come in – should she look for work within Lithuania or should she expand her horizons and see what was on offer elsewhere?

At the same time, we were looking for a place to buy. Over the last few years we had accumulated a little bit of cash to put towards a down payment so we figured that we could buy a place and even if we moved out of the city or country, owning property was never a bad idea. We figured out our budget (complicated by the fact that Lithuanian banks will only give loans up through the age of 65, which meant my time was short and getting shorter all the time). Had we started the process a few years back, we would have had more options, but we didn’t so this is where we were.

As we looked at flats (free standing houses within the city were prohibitively out of our price range) we discovered that people were really hoping to cash in. We saw places which would need an extra €50k just to make it livable for a modern resident (the grandma living there had been there since before the regime change and so was tolerating it) or had been redesigned to the point that even though it had the right number of rooms, they weren’t organized for proper habitation. Even the one place we saw which was semi-decent was a little high* for us and had no parking to speak of.

Ultimately, we liked where we were but when we had broached our current landlord about buying the place, he gave a us a price so far outside our budget we couldn’t even pretend to entertain it. So we were still looking. He was quite nice about it, though, and our residency wasn’t in any danger. We could take all the time we needed, but it was a frustrating endeavor to say the least. And Monki was anxious for us to find a place since she really wanted a cat, and, realistically, that required us to be homeowners.

In between home and livelihood came defense. This was the third and final defense coming up, the only public one, and the one where they actually voted on whether or not to confer the degree. It’s mostly a formality, but the stress levels are still high. Add in to this that Rasa was on the hook to provide food and champagne for everyone to celebrate once the big announcement was made (and that she was expecting far more people than usually came to this kind of thing) and she was finding herself stretched pretty thin.

Then, on August 30, I suggested we just try one more time to reach out to the landlord with a slightly higher offer than we had originally made and see what he says. Couldn’t hurt, right? Worst case is we were back where we started.

His response was…encouraging. He asked if he and his wife could come over and talk to us the next evening, August 31. Sure. Why not?

I started classes that day, so while I was at work, Rasa got a message from a colleague at her university explaining there was a position open at Kaunas College and she should contact the people there, which she did.

By the time I got home, they had already arranged for her to come in for an interview the next day. Then we prepared for our visitors.

It’s always a bit weird when the people who own your apartment swing by for a visit. Just like going to look at a place when the owners are home. Either way, you feel like a bit of an interloper, like you’re someplace you shouldn’t be, even though it’s fine and right and expected. Still just feels a bit off. Rasa for her part, tidied up a bit (she didn’t have to do much, our place is always meticulously clean anyway), set out cookies and got mugs ready for coffee or tea.

They showed up and we talked. By the end of the conversation, we had a handshake agreement to buy the place, for a price within our budgetary range, and including everything extant within the place. Basically, this meant that our lives would continue without much change, we’d just be paying off the bank instead of sending out rent money.

Of course, once they left, we immediately started figuring out what we needed to do to fix the place up and change things around. All the things we found slightly irritating or annoying over the past 4+ years would now be within our power to fix and change.

But first…September 1 showed up.

Lithuania is precise in that school (meaning grades 1-12) always starts on September 1, which is also a holiday. Basically, the kids all show up for a school wide assembly in the morning, give the teacher flowers, have about an hour’s worth of class and then head to McDonalds (or some other restaurant, but enough people go to McDs on that day that they changed their hours for it).

We followed the game plan for most of it, except the lunch part since Rasa had a 1pm appointment to tout her wonderfulness at this job interview. On her way home, she called and said it went really well. They had been incredibly effusive in their praise for her. Thing is, we had seen this happen earlier in the summer when she had gone for a different interview. She left with them telling her the job was basically hers, then they proceeded to ghost her. When she called then on it, their response was “We’re still looking at people and we won’t let you know unless we want you.” Screw that.

So we were taking this “good news” with a grain of salt. The one bit of difference was that they had asked her to come back on Tuesday for a second interview, one where she should make a presentation about what she saw as the future of the college and her role in it.

That became our weekend then. Rasa working on both the interview presentation and her defense presentation and me and Monki doing whatever it was we were doing. Monday saw Monki back at school and us, in addition to everything else, starting the ball rolling on the things we need to do to buy our place, including having the evaluator show up and take pictures to give the bank the value of the place (we’d made that appointment on Friday).

Tuesday, Rasa went off to her second interview. She called me from the car on the way back:

“How’d it go?”

“I signed the contract!”

They wanted her to start on Wednesday, but she demurred, agreeing to start the following Monday, with the proviso that she did have her defense coming and she’d need some time for that. They agreed. Later, it turned out that her presentation was so well done, they figured she was coached, the only thing they couldn’t figure was who coached her. She wasn’t coached, she’s just very good at her job.

On Wednesday, though, the evaluator came back with her facts and figures, and they were sent off to the bank, where we just had to wait for final confirmation of our loan.

In one week, we’d gone from not knowing anything about our future, to having it pretty well sewn up for a while. And we weren’t done yet.

The following two weeks were filled with new things for everyone. For Monki and me, it was a new school year. I had to get used to new schedules and new students. Turned out I was breaking records since the largest classroom we have at the uni holds 180 students and I had more than 170 registered. The joke was that if the student numbers outgrew this room, I was going to have to move into the university’s concert hall.

For Monki, even though it was mostly the same kids (with the addition of one girl who had her same name, only with a diacritical mark – you can figure out where it goes on “Monki”) and the same teacher (here, the teacher and class stay together for the first four years of school), there were going to be new things to learn and that had her freaked out a bit. Plus, we’d been off all summer** so this was a new routine to get used to and she is a full year younger than most of her classmates so there are certain emotional maturity issues we’re still navigating.

Then there was Rasa. She was stepping into a new gig as the Head of Studies Development, meaning she was number 3 in the college pecking order and had two (not one but two!) assistants working directly under/with her. And she still had that pesky PhD defense to get through.

Finally, the day of the defense came. Monki and I had both taken the day off to help out and be there for emotional support. We helped Rasa get things situated in the hall where it was all to take place and then we left. The biggest support we could offer was to not be there with a 7 year old. So instead, we went for a walk and out for breakfast and donuts, tuning in to the Zoom cast whenever we stopped so we could see the event. We figured it would take two hours so we planned to be back near to the end. We wanted to make it for the pronouncement of doctorhood. Turned out, the whole thing took almost 3 hours, so the little one was a bit bored from time to time, but we were there to see the important stuff…and enjoy the expensive buffet and champagne we had ordered.

It was a lovely celebration. A lot of Rasa’s colleagues were there, as well as both her sisters and parts of their families (the rest were ill). Rasa, for her part, came home and collapsed. The stress of everything being lifted just allowed her to rest for a few days.

With that burden lifted, though, now Rasa’s new job began in earnest. During the week that followed, we also got news from the bank that our loan had been approved. We were going to get our house! Of course, this meant that every time we walked past an electronics or home improvement shop, we now had to stop and check out everything from ceiling lights to toilets to stove tops and TVs.

Rasa also started looking for cats.

As I said, Monki has long wanted a cat*** and while we’d talked about adopting what Rasa really wanted was a Ragdoll. Her reasoning is that this would be her first cat and she wanted what she wanted. I wasn’t going to argue with her, especially since I had tried, unsuccessfully, to lobby for a dog. So we were going to have our place which meant we were going to get a cat, a Ragdoll if we could. The problem with Ragdolls, though, is they are very rare in Lithuania, and rather expensive because of that. Rasa’s plan was to just keep her eye out and when one came around in our range, we’d check it out. This has long been our MO. It’s how we’ve ended up with most of the things we have. Well, imagine my surprise when last weekend, Rasa finds an ad for Ragdoll kittens (she also wanted a kitten and not an adult cat) at about a third of the price she’d seen them elsewhere! A phone call gets made, an appointment is set, and Rasa announces that we’re off later that afternoon to go look at a cat.

The breeder is about 90 minutes away so we pile into the car and head out, making a day of it. When we find the place, there are some other people there to also look at the cats and we’re asked to wait outside. Soon, the breeder steps out of the house and hands Rasa a kitten. It’s the last one left of the litter, and a male (Rasa had wanted a girl), and the breeder says “Go, take the cat and sit in your car. Get to know him.”

In the car, the little guy is a bit scared and looking around. When he turns his head up and flashes those big blue eyes at Rasa, I know we’re done for. We’re going to be getting this cat. There’s a formality of looking at the female Maine Coon kittens they also have on offer, but it’s the Ragdoll for us. Unfortunately, he’s still a bit young and will need to stay with his mother for another week or two. This works out fine since it gives us time to get the house in order and pick up all the accouterments we’ll need for our new family member.

We struck this deal on the 30^th of September. Exactly a month after not knowing what was coming next. Now, much to the disappointment of my folks, we were firmly entrenched on Lithuanian soil for the foreseeable future. We’re going to be living where we have been living so we don’t have to pack up and move anything and we can incorporate a fuzzy pet easily into our lives.

No more “what’s next.” I’m looking forward to “what now?”

* Ironically, we were told they were quite firm on the price and there were plenty of other looking so we should meet their price now. A few weeks later Rasa got a call asking if our lower offer was still on the table.

** In the middle of July, Monki had her first birthday party outside of the house and attended by friends. This was an awesome event and she had a blast. It facilitated a couple of friend play dates and I’m hoping there will be more.

*** And it seems it will be beneficial for her to have one on the emotional comfort level.