Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

Harley Davidson and The Marlboro Man – Reviewed by Skids Poppe

My opinion is that if you’re going to see a movie, you may as well see one you can identify with, right? So I’m looking through the paper and all that’s showing is this ‘feel-good’ crap that seems to be so damn popular these days. I hate going out, handing over my hard earned dough to some pimply face teenager so I can sit for two hours in a dark room and watch a bunch of fuckin’ yuppies whine about how miserable their lives are against a background of new age synthesizer drivel. I mean where’s Dennis Hopper when you want to see a great flick about real people who are just like me. When I spend my cash, I want to see action, girls, bikes, explosions, guns and more bikes. Like I said, all I want is something I can identify with, is that so much to ask.

Finally, I find a film that looks worthwhile. Going by the title alone it looks like somebody in Hollywood got their head out of their ass long enough to make a great film. I’m talking about, of course, Harley Davidson and The Marlboro Man. Even before going I know I’m gonna like this one. It’s got Mickey Rourke, a guy who has got his shit together. None of this glitter and mansions for him, this is a dude who rides a Harley in real life. People like him and Leno just prove that guys like you and me can still do shit and not have to give up who we are. All right, Don Johnson is also in the film, but he’s got second billing so it’s okay. But I’m supposed to be telling you why this is a great film, not just that it is.

The story opens in 1996 with our man Rourke just finishing up with his girl and then riding off across the country to get his pal Johnson, who’s in L.A. From the very beginning you like this guy. I know I did. So Rourke gets to the Smoggy City, hooks up with Don and the movie is off. Now what the guys have to do is rob a bank, which normally I wouldn’t agree with, but they do it for all the right reasons. It seems a friend of theirs owns a bar and if he doesn’t come up with the money to pay off some debts and obligations he’s racked up, the villain, some dick in a suit, will come in and close it down or take it over and turn it into some sort of Cheers clone.

I’d highly recommend it for anyone who can’t stomach another stupid film that won some palm tree award in France, a country where they don’t even speak English, so how the hell do they know what’s good.

And my man Mickey comes through with flying colors. He and Don, who by the way is the Marlboro Man from the title, get the money and save the bar by the end. In between, they get the shit kicked out of them a couple of times, shoot a couple of people and generally have a good time. By the time the film ends and you walk out, still bouncing your head to the rockin’ music they used, you’ve got that warm feeling inside just like when you help a friend out of a jam or narrowly avoid a speeding ticket by outriding the cop.

For those of you just reading the last bit to find out if I liked it or not, here goes: Poppe, and by the time you read this it will be well on its way to the video stores. It seems nobody can keep a flick in the theatres for long these days Vanessa Williams, the former Miss America who got more publicity out of being seen in some great black and whites with another chick, is also in the film.

Skids Poppe is available for product endorsement, speaking engagements, and bar mitzvahs. Call the paper for details.